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Monday, April 13, 2009 .jpg) My very first lecture in NP took place just two weeks ago. On Thursday the 2nd of April to be precise. Now, guess wat? It's only coming my 3rd week and tadaa! Now I've got an extensive list of assignments due on as early as the 2nd of May in my hands, oh my! And that's like merely less than a month away from today, you know. Overloading alert! Yikes! Sometimes, I wished there was some way I could cut myself off from this hectic world for a period of time. Like submerging myself so deep under water that I'll be able to scream my lungs out with nobody to give a hoot to! Oh, that would absolutely leave me lightheaded for abit. Maybe even long enough for me to grasp hold of all the actions that seem to be revolving like a speedball around me, possible?Hmm. But anyway, a friend's casual remark recently got me to put on my thinking cap. All these madhouse a regret? Well, I choose to dismiss my situation more of like my stress mechanisms acting up, my body systems reacting to the sudden routine "renovation". Sorta like an adaptation process and as soon as I get a hang of it, the tension will all blow over, i guess?haha! For one, projects and powerpoints aren't alien to me so i'm pretty certain about myself coping fine and I think the same theory applies to areas where managing academic pressures are concern. Only thing is, the last time I invested much energy and concentration into those was like donkey years ago,hee. With this said, it might take me a tad bit longer to get all adjusted basesd on that pretext alone! *tongue in cheek* Whichever way, r-e-g-r-e-t is clearly not on my side of the claim ok. Oh and SOS pls! Not that this is anything new to me but I'm obviously not thriving any better in the social department coz making friends has always been a big sweat for me! Argh! Should I call this an identity crisis? I'm seriously scrambling to find my place but there just seem to be nowhere I could fit in! Most of them seem to have found their cliques or at least, a buddy yet me? See how pathetic I am in this? I couldn't even execute a 'peanut' task of blending myself in a group of less than 40 ppl. How? I'm desperate! Lil' sis scoffed at me when I grumbled about this. :( Ya-ya, serve me right! Who told me to be such an anti-social? Sometimes, I'm too independent for my own good! But this is just the way I am! That doesn't mean I'm unfriendly and hostile though, I'm just an idiot in conversation-striking but if approached, I'm truly a welcoming and amiable person, really! And I smile alot to go with the warm reception. All I need is one sincere samaritan who makes me feel at home, dats all. It isn't very helpful either that my outlook doesn't quite match my ethnic group. Most case scenarios, ppl mistake me for a non-malay. So, by the time every single malay being in a room have gathered together, I would still be stranded in a corner hoping for an advance from someone or getting connected with ppl from a diverse group instead. Not that I'm being discriminative but yeah, I've always had to go through that point of time, in which my own culture of ppl would stare at me with doubtful eyes especially during freshmen's days. *sigh* Oh well, can't push the blame to anybody, can I? We'll see. Maybe things might improve. Just like always, when I start conversing in Malay and they'll all go, "Hey! U'r a malay?? We thought...bla3". Hees. ;) |
 REENA RIANA  MUHAMMAD MUSTAQIIM Ehah Hanayan Jiayi Linda's Mutliply Linda's Blogspot Mike Nurul Sarah Suhaili Studiofrost Wawa February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 Designer : Chili. x o x o |
