BurstofSunshines

The tears I'll catch.

2009-09-12T12:35:00.002+08:00

"We were both swimming in the lazy pool before I finally had enough and wanted to take off. However, u still haven't had your fill and wanted to go on a round more. I'm not sure why but in that dream I agreed to let u go and left. The next thing i know, the scene brought us to a beach. At that beach, I was searching hi and low for u in the sea but I couldn't find u! I became frantic and started crying because sumhow, i knew in my conscience that u've drowned. U cld be dead and the worst part is, ur body was nowhere to be found! But I kept picturing ur lifeless body lying amongst many other seemingly dead humans too. Stil, I cldn't get to u at all! I didn't know where u were and I refused to believe that u were gone! I cried and cried and cried my heart out! I blamed myself for not saving u! Then, sumone gave me a crystal ball. In it, contained a smaller white ball. I was told that the crystal could tell on your survival. The white ball in it represented ur life and if i see the tiniest sign of it moving, that means u'r still breathing sumwhere out there but if it doesn't, then it signifies the worst. I waited but much to my despair, the ball refused to move! I was hoping and praying and pinning but it didn't move. I was crying out loud for u! My tears just cldn't stop, it felt like I've lost u for real and forever! It made me feel that familiar emptiness i had when i lost u back then. Only this time it was even worse! For a while, I even wanted to end my life by jumping into the sea! I was all over the place, anguished and in agony. My heart was sinking deeper each time i look into the crystal ball. I struggled to wake myself up from the dream, I wanted to and I tried but i couldn't! When I finally managed to force myself awake, I was still crying. My eyes were really tearing all along because it felt so real. I hated the feeling! I had to quickly scramble around for my phone and check on u. I had to make sure u were fine and that the dream didn't meant sumtin bad was happening to u. I was so afraid to lose u, i can't lose u once more, i wouldn't know what to do!"

Now, what was that abt? Oh, no-no. *shakes head* That wasn't some sorta story which i've fudged together. It was love's description of a nightmare that tormented him last weekend. On a Sunday, the one day I usually snooze my morning away in slumberland, rolling out of bed only when the rest of the house starts stirring to life with each member, fussing over their affairs. This time, however, came with a twist. I was jolted conscious not by my family's sunday antics but by a phone call from love. I would be tale-telling if i said I fasted that day bcoz hearing love's blubbering voice on the other side of the receiver sent multiple arrows charging to my heart, I couldn't help losing the battle against my tears. Like a child who just lost his mom, love sounded like he was crying his eyes out! My mind went into a state of blank when love struggled to put across questions like, "Dear, r u ok? R u reli ok?" in between sobs to me. I kept giving words like, "I'm reli ok dear. U'r talking to me now, aren't u? Stop crying my dear. I'm fine. What went wrong?" in my bid to bring forth some sense of assurance. It took a while before love finally managed to cool his heels and break through his sniffles with a "I had a nightmare and I cldn't save u, niku!" exclamation. Fighting to keep his head throughout, love gave me his insights shortly after. I drew a long breath. Learning that all was sheerly a dream and nothing untoward had taken place gladden my heart. I reasoned, "Silly boy, it was only a dream. I'm stil here my dear, i'm not gonna leave u. Now, don't cry anymore." My poor darling, he must have been scared out of his wits to be crying like a baby. Love seem prone to letting bad dreams get to him but really, he has never before woken up bursting into tears like he did that day. I know that whatever happens in our sleep is beyond control, but to hear him weep away like that, I was sure that this one was an extra bitter pill for him to swallow. I dreaded hearing how miserable he sounded over the phone. I wanted so much to just embrace him, to let him feel my presence. Since then, love's become sucha worrywart about not being able to hear my voice the next day till I've to coax him to go to sleep every night. I remember one time during his NS days, when love actually sprang out of bed in an attempt to reach me in his dreams. Despite catching sight of me in that delusion, each time love tried to make a run, i seem to drift further away. When he got to a point of agitation, love decided to go for a leap and that decision only resulted in him ramming hard against his bedside locker bcoz he seriously jumped off his bed in a trance. I thanked god that he was on the lower half of the double-decker. I didn't even wanna mull over which bone of his could have been broken if that move had been from the upper deck. It pains me down to my soul everytime i hear or see him fall apart like that and each time, i would end up shedding tears too. I guess what i'm trying to get at is, 6 years of love with him has truly made our hearts beat as one. The thick jungle of differences which we've once struggled to come out of has finally become a harmony of beautiful creatures and floras complementing each other. Today, i'm pleased to say that our bond has grown so intense that his laughter becomes mine, his sorrow becomes mine and his pain becomes mine too. Only god knows what would become of me if I ever have to breathe through a day without him to make the picture whole and to you my love, I just want u to know that I'm never gonna go anywhere without you, not without kissing you goodbye. I'll brave storms and hurricanes just to get to you and if ever the day comes when he has to take me away, pls note in mind, that you'll always be with me, in my heart. I'll never lose the memory of your charming face, how your hands fit perfectly into mine, the soft strokes of your fingers on my cheek, everything, down to the funny faces you'd pull just to see me smile. I'll always be grateful for the splashes of colours you've brought into my once, unanimated canvas of a life. I pray day and night that he doesn't summon me home before I live my life complete with you and yes my dear, you mean to me just as much as i do to you and I can't afford to lose u ever again either! Rest easy tonight ok my love and have sweet dreams of me bcoz like I've said too many times, i promise to answer evrytime you call. MY WORLD REVOLVES AROUND YOU, MUHAMMAD MUSTAQIIM BIN AYUB AND I LOVE YOU TO DEATH. :'')

There's no need to be afraid, my love.
For I'll always be here to hold you close and catch your tears.
Everything's gonna be alright, i promise.
So cry no more and let me chase away your fears.

Lousy mood? Not!

2009-09-04T21:45:00.011+08:00

So dis entry might and might not contain a barrage of words. Probably, i'll invest in a fair bit of random raves. heh. See how bcoz my blogging mood rite nw is like loitering between the sixes and seven. Anyway, before I take the floor, I just wana do a typical "Goodbye old month, welcome new one" shoutout can? Ok, here goes.. ehem, ehem *sits up straight, locks shoulders, deep breath and...* "HELLO SEPTEMBER, GOODBYE AUGUST! GO FAR FAR AWAY OK? COZ I HATE U! LIKE REALLY REALLY BENCI LOR. YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT. ..eh! Wait. Was those remarks nescessary?? I think I just got slightly off the track rite? heh. ^_^' Sory eh! Emotions got the better of me la but still, phew! It's always soothing to be able to get all those pent up vehemence off the chest, doesn't it? Aniwae, yeah I truly resent August now. I diss the fact that it has left a deep, imperishable scar in my heart. Why do people have to go? Can't we just have our loved ones around us forever? Boy, how I wished! *sigh* I dearly hope that September will come like a happy child, full of cheer and smiles in place of all the remorse and frowns. I am aware that with one person less, this Hari Raya's not gonna be the same for love's family but all I reli wan is to see the people around me laugh because they truly feel the warmth of joy rising from the arteries of their hearts not because it's a way of life, can? Oh pls god! In this Ramadhan, I seek that you clear the hovering clouds and let your light shine through the souls I love, pls? I just wana see them freed from the clutches of misery, so pls pls puhh-leasee heed my plea! *sigh*

Bringing the holy month into picture now. My, time sure never fail to leave us all gasping huh? Strike today off your calender and you would be tabulating a total count of 14 fasting days aredi! So the quick hor? In a matter of days, we would reach its midway mark and I'm not even sure as hell if my book of good deeds is at least a half fraction filled. Usually, aside from carrying out my routine prayers vigilantly, I would always make it a point to set aside every piece of coin I possess and donate them to whoever i see idling along the streets during Ramadhan. Irregardless of their race or state, I tell myself that for every poverty-stricken person i set my eyes upon outside, i'm gonna turn my back only after i've dropped at least a penny into their repository. I try not to reject the panhandlers who seek around trying to raise funds for the needy too. You know, last week, love once doled out $10 for an orphanage! I do realise it's a mere figure not like a 20 or 50 but still, it was a little steep from our usual amount of $2 or $5 contributions and this was what love had to say, "I'm not certain why i did that, but i know i wanted to give a helping hand and i don't regret giving away that amount at all." Aww... *hands on chest* Why of course I beamed with pride! How can I not be when I've got such a samaritan for a beau? n_n Behind that stern and masculine facade he dons on most of the time, love's actually a man of home and hearth. He emits warmth and security, really! Of course most ppl ard him wld say, he's beyond control whenever his wire trips but u know, he definitely has his heart in the right place. Though sumtimes his rage seem to shut his heart out on you, he surely doesn't turn a deaf ear to your words. All it takes is some patience and proper coaxing, trust me. He loves unconditionally and he doesn't hesitate to display affection through his actions. He feels the pinch whenever he sees the ill-fated. He's family-oriented. He emphasizes deeply on fostering family bonds and he chokes inside whenever any of his loved one goes through a rough patch . He's humorous and capable of giving u a hearty laugh too! These are the side of him which isn't plain for all to see but as his other half, believe me, he has more passion than what meets the eye and that's why my prettyboy still leaves me with butterflies in my stomach! No matter how heartbreaking this relationshp could get at times, i'l never stop adoring love for his endearing nature. It is his loving ways which I could find no match for and one thing's for sure, I AM A PROUD GALFREN OF THIS SUPER AMAZING BOYFREN! :))

Now, there's one goal which love and I have been meaning to resolve for so long now. Well, it is our biggest wish to make a difference for the unfortunate. Yes-yes, we hope to go visit a welfare home. Prolly, an orphanage or the old-folks. You see, everytime I see these forsaken children and seniors, I cldn't help but feel anguished and sympathetic for them. :( I want terribly much to do sumting for them la! Even if I could do only very little, it would definitely brighten my day to at least be able to see their faces gleam with delight! After all, since we're incessantly kicking up a fuss over how little there is to do in this tiny red dot of a country, i thought we might as well do sumtin enlightening and sadly, overlooked by our young society too many a time! Problem now is, love and I deliberated that we can't possibly make a trip, empty-handed rite? And pertaining to that rationalization, the dollar sign becomes an issue. Seriously i tell you, money is not at all on our side this month. What with the deduction of love's 1 week unpaid MC and a wk more of his reservist leave. Really, we're just scraping the barrels! No single surplus, just deficits. Besides our raya suits, everything else is recycled this year. How to have any spare like that? *sigh* No, we shall not lay a finger on the savings. They're strictly for rainy days. Hmm.. I guess we've to hold up this plan again lor. Booorrrinnggg... -_- Or maybe... hey! maybe if any of u are up for this, we cld like plan a group visit! How abt that?? The more the merrier and also, more volunteers means more would pool into the capital and with the amount accumulated, we're likely able to afford some gifts for them kan kan kan? Smells like great fun to me! hehe. So, who's game? ;)

Anyway, I lurrvvveee today! Why? Becoz it' a Friday! hehe. Last day of the week, the onset of weekends, yay! Who doesn't like this feeling, rite? hee. Tomorrow, love and I will be swinging by Geylang again. We're thinkin, it'l be our last trip coz there'll be nothing else left to see or hunt for. Last weekend alone, it was Geylang in a trot for us. Yup, three consecutive days! It felt silly beacuse the reason we returned on day 2 was becoz I had to exchange my raya top and then, just when we thought all's well ends well, the getup which we got for love's mom on day 2 needed to be exchanged pulak! *slaps forehead* Off we went again for the third time in a row! Silly kan? hehe. So Geylang this time, is prolly to steal myself a corset for my suit and of course! not missing out the must-have, Arnold's for break fast! yummeah! *slurps* Truth is, I'm totally not decided on the corset thingy yet. I dunno if I shld. For one, I dislike having that thing around me. Sumhow, it seem to make me feel stiff as a board! Eee! Two, I feel like it's a waste of our areadi limited bucks. *pouts lip* I could just make do with a tube top actually, rite? haiya. I hate it when indecision haunts me! urgh. Oh btw, this year it's "go maroon go!" for love and I. Maroon on black and I mus say, it's byfar the hottest colour we've ever picked out. heh! Actually, plan A was to go orange bcoz mommy dearest already attained an orange cloth to be tailored for myself but as u know, life doesn't always sway to our tune right? We decided to reserve the orange for next year instead. This way or that, we're charmed to bits with our choice! n_n I'l be giving a new edge to my hair too. Once more, i'm being as fickle as ever! I'm blowing hot and cold on the idea of sporting a short hairdo. I really duno la! Suggestions anyone? Hmm.. Maybe i'll just opt for shoulder length because love prefers it long actualy. Question now is, what do i do to my fringe? heh. Eh, omg! I think i shld bid goodbye for now before i end up jabbering another paragraph away la. haha! So much for a lousy blogging mood ay! hee. Pls pardon my neckbreaking essay eh! Remember to give your eyes a rest after this and carry out those simple steps which i've laid out for you below ya! Considerate kan saye? haha. Toodles all! oxox

Ps: Suhaili darlin, nak update kan? hehe. Amek ni! Sory lambat and happy tuning in! ;)

Useful Eye Exercises

Blink the eyes: After every 20 minutes of looking into the computer screen,look at any object placed at least 20 feet away. Try and blink your eyes for 20 times in succession, to moisten them.If Possible,Walk 20 paces after every 20 minutes of sitting in one particular posture. Helps blood circulation for the entire body

Rotate the Eyeballs: While you keep your eyes closed, roll your eyeballs both clockwise and anticlockwise and take a deep breath. Gradually open your eyes while releasing your breath. Continue this Exercise for a Minute or two.You can repeat it three times before getting back to the screen. It serves as a good workout for the eyes.

Two in One

2009-08-22T15:41:00.023+08:00

HAPPY 45TH BIRTHDAY DADDY DEAREST!! (",) I pray that you'll forever be hale and hearty, happy and blessed, lucky and successful, protected and watched over by HIM always. Insya'allah, amin!There's no other like you, daddy and I LOVE YOU SO! ^_^

Also, I would like to wish a
HAPPY RAMADHAN TO ALL MY FELLOW MUSLIMS!
May everybody walk away with abundance of blessings and goodness by the end of this holy month. Insya'allah, Amin! n_n
Now, be good and carry out the deed like how it should truly be done okie?
"Don't pull a fast one on your fast!" ;p

Twenty-One

2009-08-20T15:09:00.000+08:00

So, 'adulthood' turned official for me on the 28th of last month. Uh-huh, I've finally crossed my 21st mark. My birthdays have always been a simple affair so there was no hoo-haa, no lavish party, no bash-of-the-year sorta thing. Nonetheless, the cream of the crop was definitely love's surprise at my workplace. n_n It didn't dawn on me that he would have a card up his sleeve, that day. What more, during working hours in my office! heh. I must say, i could have easily been knocked down by a feather when I came by my desk to see a beautifully wrapped bouquet of my favourite flora, the sunflower and a pretty parcel with a red ribbon settled down on my seat. Minutes after I went like, "Oh my god, What is this??" with eyes wide open amd raised eyebrows, I heard my pantry door creaked open. A familiar figure came in view, one that was all too easy for me to recognize. This person had a cake with lighted candles in his hands and the next thing i knew, the man I love was serenading me with a birthday song. Dumbfounded, I had to do a double take. I gave my eyes a quick, tight shut and peeled them open again only to see that he was still there, for real. My heart fluttered. I felt my tears coming but i refused to let them in, bcoz I didn't wanna blur the heartening sight ahead of me. I smiled, I grinned, I blushed but he never did once take his charming eyes off me. Love's gift was my favourite of all. It wasn't something that was of material use to me. It was an intricately carved figurine of a couple caught in a romantic embrace. When I prompted for the reason behind his choice. He said, "It reminds me of us, of how close our hearts are." He was seeking for one that would reflect our relationship and if you look underneath its base, you wld understand the true meaning hidden behind this piece, you wld see the words "Promise. Hold dear the promise of love" It was a promise figurine, one to express his commitment and devotion to me. Feeling deeply moved and astounded, my smile held a thousand meaning of affection towards him which I couldn't convey in words, at that point of time. I was bowled over and tongue-tied, period. Later that night, Love and I had dinner together. It was my choice but i opted for a regular fare and i didn't regret my decision because i know, it doesn't take an exquisite dinner to make my birthday special. It's him. I just need him by my side because he's the reason I smile and his presence in my life is all it really takes for that bliss to happen. *tearysmile* Anyway, I've uploaded the few snippets of that day so yup, I shall pass on the mic to these pictures! ;)

To my dear love, Aqiim,

"I really dunno how much thank-u(s) I can say to you. If i could learn all the languages in this world, I would say them in all the different ways with different expressions everytime. I thank you for everything you've done for me but really, it's just having you around that I'm thankful for. It is your love that I'm grateful for. You are the gift itself, which I'm blessed with. Your joyous smile is the reflection of our love and I shall promise that no matter what happens, I will never let that beautiful smile I see in your face fade away. Thank you again my love, for loving me the way u do. You've made my 21st the best ever and u know wat? I never regretted choosing Burger King that night. I had an awesome time and it's all thanks to u baby! Birthday or not, who cares about where we dine when I've got you? You make me happy and dat's all that matters! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH LA MY SWEETEST THING!"

Nur Aaliyah Wardina

2009-08-17T23:19:00.013+08:00

Yes2, this cutie pie here is none other than precious, baby Aaliyah Wardina! :)) I know i owe this lil' one an introducing so before I get drifting, lets give ourselves a minute's grace to adore that angelic face. ________________. Done? Now tell me, isn't she such a beauty? Just look at how blissful and serene she is. If you see her in real, she's like suupperrrr tiny la. Very delicate features. Her ebony hair spikes out when not combed down. Her skin is a perfect strike between the fairness of a lily and a warm tan. Her cheeks are as soft as peaches. Her dainty lips altogether, looks like a rose in bud. I would say, she looks alot like her daddy and she's as sweet as gumdrops! n_n Oh! and of course, i'm gonna say she smells as fresh as the rain! How could i possibly leave that part out? Hmm...so syiok! *winks* Anyway, she's already a month old now. Yup, fast right? I know. Her growth rate is going at a heart-warming, fleeting pace too and so is Asyura, alhamdulillah! I bet their cheeks are gonna need bags to hold when they overflow in like no time but nevermind, i'm sure they'll still be as lovable. hehe. This way or that, I LOVE THEM, PRETTY BABIES! and the mommies too la okie! *smiling wide*

The Buddy System ;)

Anugerah 2009

2009-08-13T17:00:00.008+08:00

CONGRATULATIONS SARAH AQILAH!!!
On being crowned the Champion of Anugerah 2009.. (",)

Syukur Alhamdulillah!You know kak Ila, you've always been our no.1 even before this competition and we sure are proud of you, like every other time! You shone like a star and on that final night, you've proven that the stage is definitely your place to be. You were the bomb! Now, go on and have your aspirations realised okie. To see you so close to achieving a childhood dream which used to seem so impossible many a time, makes my heart swell with pride and my eyes tear with joy today. We all know how long a way you've come, so, no more holding back and never stop believing in yourself. Just bear in mind, that watever you do, we'll be supporting and praying for you till the end. I'll always love you my dear sis! n_n

Sand of Time

2009-08-13T12:46:00.012+08:00

Life is often taken for granted and when a dear one goes on to kiss her last bit of sand in the hourglass, there's nothing much we could do within our power to defy the almighty's will. Amidst the shattered pieces of hearts and tears that trickle with no end, this one journey that has met its end, actually, meant a wake-up call for us, who are still prodding on this momentary world. A reminder, that life is short. Life is unpredictable. Life is temporary and that, life is something too precious to be wasted. Life is like a bagful of coins. You can spend them whichever way you want to. Only thing is, each coin can be used just once. It is not very often that a particular coin gets back in your grasp and so, we are told to make the best out of each given moment.

Two days ago, a painful reality hit me. A truth that everyone in Love's family yearned to erase away. The fact that every onset of life has to come to an end. She, was a strong-spirited woman. She, was a lady with a big heart. She, wore a smile that sparkled with sincerity everytime. She, was called family and she, held a place in our now, devastated hearts. The day she went away, it was too soon. That heartbreaking news, a blow so sudden, an impact so merciless, that came like a vicious gust of wind. I thought I was prepared but when it struck, it left me staring into blank spaces. It made my hands sweat. It made my feet cold. It made my head spin in circles. It made me question the value of one's life.

"Ya Allah, tuhanku yang maha besar, maha pengampun dan lagi penyayang,

Sesungguhnya aku memohon kepada dikau, agar hambamu itu diampuni segala dosa-dosanya. Agar dikau menempatkan si dia di golongan orang-orang yang beriman dan disayangi dan juga, agar dikau mencucuri rahmat yang tidak terhingga ke atas rohnya. Amin.

Al-Fatihah."

Baby Dust!

2009-07-20T20:52:00.017+08:00

As the professional had suggested, everyone was expecting the stork for the newly-weds to arrive only in August. So it was a bolt in the blue, when love intervened our convo that evening with an exclamation that went like, "Dear! Linda's water bag has burst!". I remember the sea of excitement that engulfed my body upon hearing the news, but it got deterred midway when the term 'premature' started flooding my unconscious thought, mere minutes after. Feeling both eager and ill at ease altogether, love and I waited with bated breath at home. Everybody with hopes pinned, that god would never leave both mother and child's side throughout the battle that toggled between life and death. And then, alas! The moment came. On 16 July 2009 at 0928hrs, joining the league of cuzzins Fathullah Raiyan, Ariessa Marsisqa and Fathiah Asyura, a 2.38kg princess named Nur Aaliyah Wardina was safely delivered into this world. And mom? Syukur alhamdulillah, the both of them are as fit as a fiddle! :D Although, being a non full-term baby has exposed baby Aaliyah to quite a fair trail of setbacks, still, I'm glad that her progress has been going in a positive direction, alhamdulillah! She has proven herself to be a strong and brave lil' fighter and I'm sure she'll ride over these adversities in no time, right mommy Lynda? ;) I think her name alone exudes much charm and elegance. I've yet to set my eyes on her cuteface but I know she'll be just as captivating as the graceful ring of her name. Shall see you real soon okie, baby Aaliyah? Can't wait to kiss and smell you! hee. Oh, and i'll post her pictures as soon as I get to snap them, alrite. Lots and lots and lotsa baby dust everywhere la! I loike! hehe. Makes me wonder how love and mine would look like?hmm. *daydreaming* Wait 5-6 years more to see,okie? Insya'allah, Amin. n_n

Yakkety-Yak

2009-07-15T16:22:00.009+08:00

"Make yourself scarce now blues! It's Wednesday already, shoo-shoo! grrr."

Greetings beautiful ppl! n_n
Lets take off this entry with some webcam shots, shall we?

The little tike you spotted? That's my cheeky, barely two years old nephew. Ichiro Shaquille a.k.a the apple of my eye. Oh yes, you can bet this lil' rascal's one hell of a punkster! Jovial and rollicky, he is a devil-may-care boy. I shall prattle more on him one of the days okie but for now, i'm gonna allow a lil' exemption and pitch myself in a bout of random rants and raves.

And this video, 19 months old bright-eyed toddler, Anyyq Yaqyn, chorusing to my sister's rendition of Lafaz by Nana. The youngest fan of Sarah Aqilah yet. Cute right? Watch it, it is sure to tug at your heartstrings!!! Awww... ;)

Oh! and before this gives my mind the slip again. To Nur Azlindah Binte Baharom,

"13th July, You've kissed 19 years of life. I know I'm late but it wasn't intentional, really dear. I was just a tad too preoccupied. Nonetheless, i would still like to convey my best wishes to you. I hope you had a time of your life that day and I also hope that Arham has made it special enough for you, to be able to bury your first birthday memory as man and wife, deep in your heart till the very end. I pray for god to never stop watching over you and may longevity, felicity and wealth be with you always. Insya'allah, Amin. Take care sweetheart and HAPPY BELATED 19TH BIRTHDAY!" :D

So, it's Wednesday already and if you bop to the top, you'll know i'm facing a hurdle trying to shake my gloom off. Don't ask me why? It's just a little clingy nowadays. Everything's a drag! My feet feels like they've got balls of chains tight to them evrytime I make work and school trips. Urgh. I need a vacation! I truly can't wait for the day love and I get to go on one. A short getaway can do, not too long lest home sickness strikes but then again, when it's just love and I, relaxing on an island *starts imagining*, everything else in the world is suppose to be small fry rite? hehe. Haiya, bottom line: I really really need a holiday la! hmm. Anyway, SIMS 3 is my latest new-found craze. I'm hooked to it like a child to sweets! hehe. Can't help it, it's fantabulous! Have you tried playing? No? Then, go grab it! It's a far cry from the first two versions, i tell you! Ya ya, so i'm officially a mouse potato now. I'm literally glued to the screen! haha! Gergerl's activity rate has been hitting the highs eversince. I think I should give her a break, but how to? I'm addicted la! hmm... *scratches head*

Ps: "Gergerl" is a pet name I've given my lappie btw.hee. Yes, it's a SHE. An elegant one ok. And there's boboy too but love's in charge of him. ;p

The New Addition

2009-07-07T22:05:00.002+08:00

Welcome to the world Nur Fathiah Asyura! :) A week old now. Pretty as a picture, isn't she? Fair complexion that glows with a hint of pink, lustrous black hair and teeny lips. She has a lovely set of eyelashes too you know, though not thick yet but they're long and feather-like, i'm lovin' it! And and, she smells like dewdrops ok, sweet and refreshing! I've always had a penchant for newborns' scent la, i mean who would beg to differ me on this, right?? Hee. I haven't got a chance to cradle her in my arms though. Not bcoz I wasn't given the go-ahead but I'm just extra conscious about breaking a bone. *touchwood* What a jellyfish I am, haha! Hey, can't help it ok. I'm not like a pro. Neither am I experienced, duh! ;p Maybe I will succumb eventually, but only when she gets older and much sturdy. For now, I think I shall just sit back and bite my lips as I watch everyone else have their turn. Ya, exasperating. Argh! But i'd rather play it safe then be sorry. So I guess it's gonna be just goo-goo-gaa-gaa sessions for me and lil' princess untill the time gets ripe. u_u Oh, and love is facing the same dilemma too! haha! Silly right us both? Now, keep all those laughters up your sleeves ok! teehee. Anyway, fyi, very very soon, like in less than two months, Asyura will gain herself a new companion. Yay! Who? Her months younger baby cuzzin la! Now, that's another lil' miss I'm looking forward to meet and I bet she'll look just as angelic! hehe. Can't wait for the day you officially become a mommy figure, Lynda dear! Shall pray for you and baby's well-being okie, Amin. :)

Apparently, her daddy's a fan of Manchester United. Haha!

Ps: Five down, just two more to go now. I can almost inhale you, free days! Yiiippeee!! ;D

Anugerah 2009

2009-07-03T15:30:00.017+08:00

If you've been following up on Anugerah 2009, you would know that my dear sister is still running in the game. She's now one of the top 6 female Anugerettes and has made it through to the next round after nailing it with her, if I may say, 'bombastic' display of song titled, Lafaz by Nana, last week. Here's the good news for fans out there, Suria has requisited for all 12 contestants to come up with their own blog space, so...yes-yes, in due time you'll be able to pop by her site, keep up with her latest and get to know more about her! Oh, and in case you need a little enlightening, my sister is Nur Sarah Aqilah by the way. Also, if you've missed out on the few episodes of Anugerah and would like to catch her previous performances, you can log in to youtube and watch for yourself. Otherwise, you can just tune in to Anugerah every Tues at 8.30pm for updates! :)

"There you go sister, told ya that all the worrying was uncalled for coz we were pretty sure you would pull through. You've been doing awesome alright! Fret not about anything else and just focus on keeping your eyes on the ball ok coz we'll be rooting and praying for you all the way through. Go, go, go Sarah Aqilah!" n_n

And to all Sarah's fans out there, continue doing your thing okie ppl? Trust me, she appreciates every bit of your support! Thank you many-many! ;)

On another note,
"Be patient yana, be patient.. Hang on there.. I know it's killing you inside but it's only in a matter of hours and the world will soon be in your arms, all over again."

I can't wait to meet my prettyboy tomorrow la! Sitting tight is like a no-go for now. Fast forward the time can? Not possible? Darn! Hees. Uh-huh, Love's booking out this weekend after all and I sure am thrilled to bits! Hurray! And yeah, he's my world alright. The air I breathe. *smiling gleefully*

Love with my cuzzin, Haadli.

Daddy Dearest.
Cuzzin Haadli and I.

reen[A]qiim
Our Favourite Pastime ;p

Lifes' Truth

2009-07-02T10:37:00.005+08:00

It is not something our conscience would seek, the thought of losing a dear one. While a temporary loss could stab our hearts like a knife, what more when it's in the span of forever? But this is life as we all know it, short and momentary. Like it or not, we've to face it. When it is time for our calling, unheralded or braced, the choice is never within our power.

"I may not have known you for as long as I've lived. I may not understand as well as the others on what you've been through. But, getting to know you has been a pleasant ride all along. It sadddens me just as much as the rest to see your health taking a plunge. I've always thought of you as a very brave woman and I look up to you for that. Your perseverance and determination is admirable. The way you never fail to always wear a smile and put up a strong front despite the condition you're in, inspires me deeply. Please don't give up the battle already. You're very much a part of the family and you mean a great deal to everyone, I can see that. Please keep up the spirit and don't stop fighting till the very end. I shall pray for nothing but the best for you."

A prayer in your name, we shall all convey to the Almighty. With what scarce hope and faith we could muster, that HE would be graceful enough to grant us that little bit more of time with you to make a difference and add extra meaning into our lives or even better, a plea for him to allow a miracle to take place. Insya'allah, Amin.

BitterSweet

2009-07-01T12:02:00.025+08:00

July, July July..Like finally u're here, my birthday month! n_n

So, I've got a few things to highlight today..

Number one, guess what? Love's cuzzin has just given birth to her first bundle of joy at 4.49pm yesterdayyy!! Yay! *Jumping around* Weighing at a healthy 3.060kg, the bouncy baby girl is named Nur Fathiah Asyura. Congratz kak Zura and abg Fir! :D Also, I would like to thank god for watching over both mother and daughter throughout the delivery. They're safe and sound now, syukur alhamdulillah! It overwhelms me with delight to know that the long awaited moment for mother and child to meet eyes has finally arrived. Now, I can't wait to go see her angelface! Hmm..Does she look like mommy or daddy? I wonder.. *tilts head* hehe. Wateva it is, I think that baby's are jolly cute, they're simply hard to resist and I'm sure Fathiah's a little doll!hehe. As for now, my utmost well wishes goes out to them. May god bless their beautiful family, keep all harms at bay and store a future that holds abundance of joy and laughter for them. Insya'allah, amin! :)

My second news can never get any better! Well, not for you but for me, at least! hehe. Being the ever so "diligent" student I've been, I found out only yesterday (most of my classmates knew this all along coz they've been obediently referring to their timetable sheet, unlike me! Lazy bum i know, haha! *sticks out tongue*) that my Saturday classes for this semester are over and done with! Woohoo!! Yes baby! Now, I get to slumber my Saturday mornings away. I like! hee. I hadn't realise that we've actually completed our Saturday modules, geez, time sure catches up with us when we least expect it. Either way, I'm tickled pink can? hehe. No more waking up early for saturday lectures and I'm gonna sleep like a log, i tell you! This one, I mean it coz I seriously haven't been able to indulge in ample beauty sleep lately, poor me. u_u

And thirdly, IMISSMYPRETTYBOY, like insanely ok!! Boo-hoo. Driving me mad la! *sigh*

"The hardest part in life is having to let go of your fears and facing the fact that things can't always be the way we want it. Cherish your loved ones while you still have the chance coz we can never turn back the pages of time, though we may wish to relive a happy moment or have their presence for a little longer, we never can, because time waits for no man" :(

Alright, enough said.

Rock My Socks!

2009-06-29T10:08:00.007+08:00

Transformers with love ROCKED MY SOCKS OFF!! The one movie that never fails to keep me at the edge of my seat. I'm pleased as punch ok? And and and! I wanna watch it again laaaaa.....can dear? PUH-LEASE! Pls, pls, pls, pretty pretty please!! n_n

Second Cycle

2009-06-28T21:05:00.016+08:00

Today, Love's booking into camp at 2200hrs. Uh-huh, it's the reservist season again, his 2nd cycle and it sucks! Big time, like always! Urgh. It is his third day actually. Last Thursday was the official reporting day, after which, he was given the book out on Saturday till ten tonight. I'm feeling down in the dumps at the moment coz love was told that there's a chance he would have to stay through this coming weekend till the next one and that practically means, seeing him would only be achieveable 14 days later! :( Two whole weeks of distance, utterly NOT good at all! I'm gonna miss him gravely but thank god, there's such thing as having means of communication through a phone. And thank god again, that love's granted the allowance to tag his mobile phone along and make calls during breaks or when the officer declares the day quits. Oh well! I guess I've to be complacent and get by with just hearing his voice for the time being. *big sigh*

"I'm gonna miss you love, badly. I know two weeks will drift by real quick but wateva it is, please forget not your promise to me and take great care of yourself. I give you my word too, as always, that I'll watch over myself and be your good angel. Good luck in all that you're gonna be striving for and pls have in mind, that you'll be in my every prayer, my every dreams, my every memory, my every steps, close and dear to me, in my heart, locked and sealed away, tightly. ILOVEYOU forever ok and I can't wait to have my arms around you again precious! IMISSYOU! :') "

Hello!

2009-06-25T15:48:00.007+08:00

Hello! It's been eons since I updated, yes2, i know the cobwebs are over-populating! LAAAAZZZYYYYY laaaaaaa...and BUSY too! Assignments are a killer ok! I reali wana let this out, I wish I had exams rather than projects! Argh! I mean, I would prefer mugging nights with a textbook, for a paper that would quickly be over and forgotten after just one sitting to making countless library visits for research and then type out write-ups and of course, the presentation and wateva nots! So awfully vexing on the mind and body u knw, it's beginning to take on an unhealthy course for me! Ya, what with the routined, wee hours tasking till as late as 4am for up to three days in a row and the one-meal-a-day diet, how not to fall sick?? I catch myself FOREVER rushing out assignments! I would still be scrambling till late, even on the night before its deadline. Time's a huge constrain, period. Oh, and I'm now a frequent library visitor. Not that I'm a goody-two-shoes, more like, I'm caught in a Hobson's choice situation here! Especially since research work require books, duh. Psst! Here's a confession though..I've got some procrastinating issues at hand, LOL! *sticks out tongue* Ya ya, I sit on my assignments SOMETIMES but hey, that's only beacuse I'm either dog tired after work/school or I've got other obligations to meet and on days you see me really working it out on my lappie, believe me, I'm likely to be running on empty. Gosh! I never thought that juggling work and sch was gonna be like juggling frogs man! Very the backbreaking! Ok, my fingers are giving way areadi, I shall stop here. Till then, bye! ;)

Night at the Museum 2

2009-05-31T20:35:00.006+08:00

Went to catch Night at the Museum 2 last night. Side-splittingly, awesome as ever! At some point, the scenes got so hilarious, love and I found ourselves laughing our butts off like nobody's business! Not gonna yak much on the movie, though. For those who are missing out, go-go! It sure is worth every single penny chipped in. Next up, TRANSFOMERS!!!! Must watch! Can't wait la, yay! *grin* Yesterday's outing with love was a ball of a time, packed with oodles of laughters and grins. We were especially upbeat and a third-quarter of the whole time, we did nothing but frolic around like clowns in our own world of merryville. All of those monkey business, depite me having school and love, work earlier!hee. By midnight, we were suppose to have been dragging our wasted feet away but, well, what can I say?

"Your presence makes me feel alive and all jazzed, baby, coz you hold the key to the child locked in me!" :D

Stairway Surprise

2009-05-28T18:01:00.017+08:00

Having been a boyfriend, who's majority of the time, tuned out to the many little details our relationship bore has resulted in me paying no mind, when love said he was intent on squandering his coming paycheck on the three dresses which held my attention, while we were running dry, last weekend. Usually, he would end up giving the initiation a slide off his mind and I've gradually, learnt to make allowances for such slip ups over the six years. So it got me totally, off-guard when love popped me a surprise at my stairway carrying a black, paper bag filled with all three frocks yesterday! One moment there, I was nothing but all scatterbrained and wide-eyed. As my view flicked back and forth between his face and the possession on his hand, the only words I could force out my jammed throat was "Oh my god! U did not just do that dear!" *sticks out tongue* It stings me a wee bit though, coz three sets meant a huge rip off his pocket and the guilt of using his means has never failed to get to me. I rather he had purchased just one and splurge the rest on his own needs or better still, bank them into savings. It's just not very him to go through these extra miles but down the depth of my soul, his actions touched me, nonetheless. Making his way down to the mall on the very day his wage got accounted in, straight after knocking off from work, when he could have done this during his days off and down to my place, caring no hoot about his much needed rest, all with just me in mind. Love has never, quite been able to get round to being a romantic but that's just the reason why, everytime he takes to such rare lengths of expression, it feels especially special coz his true sincerity is plain for my heart to sense. In one way or another, I do feel gratified over my new acquisitions (duh! which woman doesn't love to be pampered with gifts? *chuckles*) but above all, it was his thought that mattered to me, I feel privileged for being blessed with such a thoughtful and sweet love of a man. Yes-yes, I LOVE MY PRETTYBOY, VERY MUCH, TO THE CORE OF MY HEART! :D

Anugerah 2009

2009-05-20T16:31:00.024+08:00

Hi! I'm pleased to announce that, this year, my beloved sister has earned herself a spot in the league of 20 finalists who are gonna vie in one of Singapore's most coveted and ever influential, malay singing competition, Anugerah. Her name's Nur Sarah Aqilah and below's a sneak on her doing a rendition of Menadah Gerimis by Ziana Zain, for her 'top 20' qualifying audition. Have a listen and if u sincerely think she potentially, deserves to have her dream realized, you can make the difference! How? Simple, just send in your vote starting 9th June! ;)

Tune in to Anugerah, every Tuesday, at 8.30pm to catch her live on screen and hopefully, with ample support, you'll get to see her in the running for a long time, probably, even till the finals, who knows? Coz hey, every vote weighs a deal and of course, will be deeply appreciated by us, beyond all doubt. So, to all fellow followers, do keep your fingers busy ya! n_n

Btw, to Kak Ila dearest.."I'm proud of you, I really am and no matter wat happens in this journey, pls know, that you're already a winner, a champ in our hearts, a victor in your own, special way for having achieved this far. All the best sis, you've got my prayer with you, always." (",)

1st Presentation

2009-05-05T15:20:00.012+08:00

Busy as a bee, that's what I am now, literally! Late nights and early mornings are so much of a routine for me nowadays, that if I had a lighted billboard smacked on my forehead, it would definitely be flashing the 'sleep-deprive' alert already! My muscles ache at most flex, my eyebags are filling out like cream puffs and of course, my dark-eye rings are no better; they're becoming hideously obscene, damn! To top it all off, I think I'm facing some weight-loss issues. It's only an assumption though, at least for now, coz I know I haven't been feeding myself heartily eversince juggling school and work. Assignments are piling up on me and I feel like an octopus having to multitask like crazy! 6 individual work, one of which is a powerpoint presentation, 2 quizzes to mug for and 2 group propositions all with submission dates that lurk ard June and July. Speaking of presentations, it's soothing to know that my group's gotten one off our chest, last Saturday. Our first and foremost, of the 30 months course of modules. Glad to say that everything turned out a breeze. The pre-jitters weren't evasive, no doubt, especially since my group was alloted the 1st for that day, sheesh! For a while then, I thought I was gonna trip and stutter on my part of the presentation bcoz the trembling got so overwhelming that I had to squat down for a bit, to regain composure. LOL! But, as soon as we got the ball rolling, everything fell into place, the words flowed out effortlessly, just as rehearsed, thank god! The rest of my teammates did marvelous too. Lilian, Caroline and Geraldine. They've been really innovative, supportive and co-operative throughout the whole process. Everyone was determined and made certain they played their part in the assignment. Bottom line, we're all pleased with our end product! :D Well, that's just one down. Still got lots more to work on, focus focus! I can't afford to faze at any circumstance coz fyi, the grading for this programme is strictly project-based which means unsastisfactory performance=no pass=no cert and that's a no-no coz I want to acquire my diploma. I must! Hmm..Patiently awaiting the day I get to heave that sigh of relief, so faraway still! Argh!

Lil' Update

2009-04-24T17:53:00.049+08:00

So I thought i'll upload the scant bit of shots we've snapped during our 6th anniversary celebration. Lil' too late entry i know, but i just couldn't muster the time to sort them out for display before. Especially eversince school took off, duh! Anyway, our date fell on a weekday this year, so love and i thought we'd just do dinner together and then relish in each other's company as we gallivant around town. That's about all we had in the days' agenda. Nonetheless, the aimless wander led to us chancing upon a perfect pair of wristlets to symbolise our 6th year mark, yay! After weeks of survey work, finally coming down to one that met our ideal requisites, was more reason for us to while the evening away with delight. (",) The thing I adore about this piece, is how it snugs cozily into our wrists. Just for the record, these two are no separate individuals. Nope, not even a couple thing. It's a design that is one of it's kind, only purchased in a pair which equates exact size and mass specifics. Yet, it's magical how each one could rest just as comfortably and gleams as celestially whether on me or love! Like our personal 'one-size-fits-all' wonder, it's as if they're made specially for us both, I like!hee. Oh and love presented me with a bracelet too, a white gold. n_n The first from him, prolly not the last too coz love says there's more to come, insya'allah. *chuckles* We'll see abt that. Besides, he's aware that i'l only allow such splurges when his pocket's got extra to spare. ;p This one's nothing too fancy thou, a fine & dainty piece with diamond cuts that sits delicately enough on my tiny circumference, just perfect. Of course, I'm smitten with it too! I mean, how could I possibly bring myself to resist these charms?? Wristlets are my favourite. They're super sweet! Okie2, silly fetish? Errr...Guilty! *sheepish grin*

A lil' shoutout to my prettyboy: "I miss you sweetheart and thank you again! Not just for the gifts but for every single bit of your devotion since hour one, from the smiles to the tears, the laughters to the wailings, the serenity to the madness, the glorious days to the dark hours. They're all meaningful only because you played a part in them and no other soul could have done them any better than you, i know. Just like how i could never have loved any other, more than i do you becoz be it today, tomorrow or forever, precious, you'll stil be the one, cross my heart."

A pair from SK jewellery.

Love's gift from Citigems.

School

2009-04-13T11:07:00.030+08:00

My very first lecture in NP took place just two weeks ago. On Thursday the 2nd of April to be precise. Now, guess wat? It's only coming my 3rd week and tadaa! Now I've got an extensive list of assignments due on as early as the 2nd of May in my hands, oh my! And that's like merely less than a month away from today, you know. Overloading alert! Yikes! Sometimes, I wished there was some way I could cut myself off from this hectic world for a period of time. Like submerging myself so deep under water that I'll be able to scream my lungs out with nobody to give a hoot to! Oh, that would absolutely leave me lightheaded for abit. Maybe even long enough for me to grasp hold of all the actions that seem to be revolving like a speedball around me, possible?Hmm. But anyway, a friend's casual remark recently got me to put on my thinking cap. All these madhouse a regret? Well, I choose to dismiss my situation more of like my stress mechanisms acting up, my body systems reacting to the sudden routine "renovation". Sorta like an adaptation process and as soon as I get a hang of it, the tension will all blow over, i guess?haha! For one, projects and powerpoints aren't alien to me so i'm pretty certain about myself coping fine and I think the same theory applies to areas where managing academic pressures are concern. Only thing is, the last time I invested much energy and concentration into those was like donkey years ago,hee. With this said, it might take me a tad bit longer to get all adjusted basesd on that pretext alone! *tongue in cheek* Whichever way, r-e-g-r-e-t is clearly not on my side of the claim ok. Oh and SOS pls! Not that this is anything new to me but I'm obviously not thriving any better in the social department coz making friends has always been a big sweat for me! Argh! Should I call this an identity crisis? I'm seriously scrambling to find my place but there just seem to be nowhere I could fit in! Most of them seem to have found their cliques or at least, a buddy yet me? See how pathetic I am in this? I couldn't even execute a 'peanut' task of blending myself in a group of less than 40 ppl. How? I'm desperate! Lil' sis scoffed at me when I grumbled about this. :( Ya-ya, serve me right! Who told me to be such an anti-social? Sometimes, I'm too independent for my own good! But this is just the way I am! That doesn't mean I'm unfriendly and hostile though, I'm just an idiot in conversation-striking but if approached, I'm truly a welcoming and amiable person, really! And I smile alot to go with the warm reception. All I need is one sincere samaritan who makes me feel at home, dats all. It isn't very helpful either that my outlook doesn't quite match my ethnic group. Most case scenarios, ppl mistake me for a non-malay. So, by the time every single malay being in a room have gathered together, I would still be stranded in a corner hoping for an advance from someone or getting connected with ppl from a diverse group instead. Not that I'm being discriminative but yeah, I've always had to go through that point of time, in which my own culture of ppl would stare at me with doubtful eyes especially during freshmen's days. *sigh* Oh well, can't push the blame to anybody, can I? We'll see. Maybe things might improve. Just like always, when I start conversing in Malay and they'll all go, "Hey! U'r a malay?? We thought...bla3". Hees. ;)

Embracing 23

2009-03-31T16:57:00.033+08:00

HAPPY 23RD BIRTHDAY MY PRETTYBOY!! (",)

"It is our belief that the world is only a short-lived and momentary test.Time waits for no man thus everyday's an inevitable race to achieve our best.Nevertheless my dearest, today of all days is your day.So embrace the year elegantly and have it your way.For it is a promise, that even a hundred years later,My unconditional love towards you will never yield to falter."

May you be bless with the many happy returns of today and every other day my precious. Insya'allah, amin.
I LOVE YOU, ALWAYS AND FOREVER! :))

Sweet Surprise

2009-03-26T15:41:00.019+08:00

Everytime my nifty handset tinkles with the term 'private number' flashing on my display screen, two souls would strike my mind. One, my beloved lil' sis. Two, my hell of a trouble, nonsensical working colleague. So, when my ringtone went off while I was making my rounds at Far East on a lunch break that Thursday, 26 March 09, I was figuring the latter, especially since it was during working hours but I was wrong. Much to my astonishment, the voice that jingled on my receiver actually brought about a sweet surprise, a heartwarming one in fact!

"Hi, may I speak to Reena?.....This is Liana callin from Ngee Ann Polytechnic. I'm pleased to inform you that your application etc etc etc..."

I don't suppose I need to elaborate any further, do i?hee. Uh-huh, my application got through! Yipee! So now, I'm only left with getting all my administrative work straighten out for verification before the term begins. Oh my god! really there's no amount of words favorable enough to convey the gush of relief that flooded me upon receiving the news. It's like after the numerous letdowns, indeed I was right when I hoped that my employer's magnanimity was the onset of my sunny days ahead. Syukur alhamdulillah! Now, that's a huge load off my mind! My patience paid off duly. Thank god! Anyway, school commences 2nd April 09, real quick isn't it?hee. Funny but im eager thou, it feels sooo the incredibly good to be back on track!hee. ;D

"I love you my prettyboy! Thanks for being my pillar, for being the reason to my laughters and grins every time. I am what I am because of you, because of what you made me realise. I am strong only because of you and our love, this beautiful and everlasting affinity between you and i, a bond like no other and I'm thankful for having you, i truly am! :)"

NO thanks

2009-03-24T15:49:00.020+08:00

So four days ago, Friday to be exact, something unanticipated took place. One so hilarious that it left my stomach tickling with amusement!haha! Nah, nothing too absurd but it sorta caught me off guard, i must confess. Just exactly what was spinning through their puny lanes of a mind?? Did they really think I still needed their recognition very much at this juncture? After almost two months of pitiless negligence, leaving me to wallow in misery all by myself! Put this curtly, thanks but NO thanks! Sorry but a sense of gratitude from me is plainly, out of the question! Oh right, myself being too independent hurts you two, doesn't it? Which is why you guys couldn't care less, choosing to leave my fate in my own hands. Well, newsflash your excellencies! Unfortunately for you both, i'm doing splendid you know. Yes, even without ur guidance, in case this fact escaped your apparently accurate, scrutinizing skills and by the way, everything's long passed, even if you had a sudden turnover of heart, it'l be of little good coz the crucial period's over and done, like two weeks ago, excuse me! My, u weren't even aware of this, were u? Gosh, call urself my guardians, only by status it seems! Even worse, living under one roof with me! Argh! Ya-ya, i know, who's to blame? I never did keep u guys updated about yours truly anyway, true enough? Now-now, don't start pointing your fingers at me coz u guys never bothered an ounce, from start to finish! There wasn't even one word of worry that spat out of those mouths eversince, so what has that gotta do with me?! Whatever ok. Anyhow, thanks for cracking me up with the supposedly convincing & genuine act of concern that day ey, really! And don't go declaring me rude & insensible. I've just expressed my thank-you, haven't i? Like finally, an acknowledgement! How thoughtful! *roll eyes* U almost got me fooled there, sir & madam. Geez. :)

Upgrade

2009-03-18T11:02:00.024+08:00

13 March 2009(Fri) was the last day of Republic Polytechnics' enrollment exercise and that week too, I made the heartbreaking decision to pass up on this promising opportunity which I've been yearning for since I graduated with my O'levels. :( I do realize it's not the end of the world, i mean, it's not like there isn't an alternative and i know, my options are extensive to begin with, unquestionably. Thing is, despite the boundless measures I've taken to reason with myself, it seems to pain me all the same everytime I dwell on it. I loathe the fact that I didn't have a choice, that it was all unjust for me! argh! Just why oh why does it have to end like this?? *sigh* Anyhow, it's been slightly past a week now since I last set my mind to that verdict and i must say i'm affably impressed with my current progress amidst all these tension, running in my veins. I should have given more credit to myself before, coz I never thought I would have been able to convince my thoughts away from a nervous collapse as successfully as I had fared. I'm well over it now, i could say. :) At the moment, I'm anxiously awaiting a pending application for a part-time pre-sch teaching diploma course which i've sent out to Ngee Ann polytechnic two Sundays ago though i'm feeling a hint of relief, eversince my kindhearted boss graciously agreed to release my Saturdays, just so that I could pursue my part-time academics. Nice, isn't it? And for a while, I thought I would have to quit and go on a 5 day/week job hunting spree during this recession period, in order to cater my time for school, heh! Matter of fact, his offer came to me as my first and sole good news by far, especially after the draining string of setbacks that's been pouring on me one after another and I do hope it's the initial sign of sunny days ahead. It really warms me to know that i've got such a humble samaritan for an employer, you know, I can never be any picky. I sincerely pray that NP's got room for me, at least, i could finally set myself at ease if that turns out the case. Otherwise, fret not, I've thought up a plan B, though it's the last straw, it's fail-proof, certainly!hee. Oh yes, i've really been exploring my options of late, every bit of it, down to the tiniest detail. I can't afford to waste any more of my precious time! The world's spinning in a blur and i desperately need to buck up quick. I truly wana upgrade, so wish me luck ya! :D

PS: See that picture of us above?hee. I like! I love you okie my cookie monster? Heaps much! *bluek* :p

Zoo Trip

2009-03-10T17:08:00.031+08:00

The pictures are backdated, alright. They're only a few, coz majority of it were shots of the animals.haha! I know, ask him! =P And we didn't get to snap any in the night coz our trusty digicam died on us by then. We made the trip during Chinese New Year, the one on this year, of course! We opted for the two-in-one entry tix so it was Zoo mania in the day and when the sun set, we headed for a night in the 'wilderness'. Super shagged by the time everything was over! It was a pioneer experience for us at the night safari. No longer night safari 'idiots' now!hee. Must say, we were both bewildered by the creatures-of-the-dark we sighted. Totally out of the ordinary! I personally liked the Tapir and Flying Fox, so cute!hehe. And it's rare that you get to see them wander about freely, soooo the 'Africa' feel you knw, especially with us in the tram.heh! Oh, and Zoo is evidently way much better than before! So do go say hi to the monkeys if you haven't! ;p

To Love: Uh-huh, I had a jolly good time darling! Like i always do with you. Thanks my prettyboy, you're my ultraman okie? hee. :D

Lost

2009-03-07T12:01:00.017+08:00

My mind's been bogged down with too much lately. Especially now that the poly's registration period is closing in on me. I literally feel like i'm about to crack under this pressure! I'm still stuck at being so indecisive and disoriented even after almost a whole month of contemplating..I just couldn't make up my mind! Argh! Err..For those who are scratching their heads now, well, i've gotten myself a place in Republic Polytechnic under pharmaceutical science, hurray! Yes, a course which I've applied for, in my hope to pursue something which conquers a major part of my passion. However, sad to say, circumstances are such that, i might have to forgo this opportunity.hmm. :( Anyway, firstly, congrats to myself for finally being able to hog a place in one of the 5 coveted tertiary institutes in Singapore after a total of two dejectful rejections! Indeed, I was swept with tremendous joy when the good news first came to my ears but much to my dismay, it didn't come across me, that my acceptance would actually unveil many hurtful truths. In this case, this incident justified my perception of the term, 'money is the root of all evil' hands down. Who would have thought that mankind could be so callous as to sacrifice ones' own flesh and blood's future with those mere paper notes that held substantial value as a supposedly rational excuse? Not that they haven't got the means, they DO! Who would have thought that in this life of mine existed individuals that measured my affections towards them via my wealth contribution tally?? As far as i'm concerned, these thoughts never dawned on me altogether, much less, the speculation that such a fate would befall me. All that hopes instilled in me and all the words of promises conveyed to me was nothing but plain empty talks, that was never intended to be made real of. I should have known better coz that has been the case since day 1, hasn't it? I was nothing close to 'special' for that extra attention, right from the start. I was never in their good books no matter how much less of a burden i am compared to the rest. Now that all the falsehood have come to light, i've learnt my lesson, i've decided to go with the drift. No, i'm not gonna change, i committed no sins. This is the way i am, i give to people who treat me right, not to those who deprive me and I shall remain satus quo. I shall climb my way up with my own resources, if that's what i'm deemed to do. One day, I might prove it to them but wateva it is, they were and will never be the reason for my achievements becoz sum others that matter to me deserve the credit better. I forgive, always will, but I shall never forget and that's final, i'm sorry. Now, I've got a decision to make. I'm not sure if i should pursue the full time, RP pharmaceutical course or to just enrol myself in a part time, pre-sch teaching diploma course elsewhere, both of which i could see myself going on board in the career department. I've got too much to put into consideration and it doesn't help that they're not in the least bit supportive of me. And then, there's love. He's been the most encouraging thruout this trying period. Thanks alot baby, for stickin ard always! You're simply everything! :) Age is catching up on me and him too. As much as I would wana focus on my aspirations, i don wish to drag me and love any longer. I truly wanna see us settle down on time and that has to be taken into account too. With that said, just exactly how much savings could i pile, say 3 years down the road if i held a part-time, hourly-paid job in the evenings to tide me through, you think? No-no, I shan't let love shoulder the burden entirely. He's got dreams to chase too and i've got to be fair. Oh god, pls help me! I can only choose one and i truly hope i won't be wrong. Nevertheless, whichever path i take on, i'll never let anytin bring me down and oh yes, you CAN bet on this!

There it goes

2009-03-03T15:43:00.010+08:00

How fast isn't it? The year has moved on to its third phase now. There goes my favourite month..Come and gone like a rapid shutter, barely suffice for love and I to immerse into our anniversary mood to our full hearts' content..hmm. That's the thing i resent about February. It breezes by too quick to be true! All no thanks to its minimal days count, which brings to my mind all the time, just why does it have to be as such?? and also, the 29th day chaos that comes once in every 4 years leap, wats up wif that man? Why can't February just regulate like the rest of the 30-31 days months? Reason with me, pls! *sigh* Nevertheless, it's comforting to know that there's yet another reason to feel chirpy for every March coz love's birthday is on the way, yes! yay! 31st March 09, my prettyboy embraces 23 years of age. No eleventh hour preparations coz i've already thought up a plan for love's birthday agenda since as early as January.haha! Kiasu, i know! I didn't want to start late lest i end up with nought for this special event and that musn't be the case ok! I'm keeping it hush-hush for now though..sorry! not gonna let you in on the details till the day itself to avoid any unnescessary word spillage coz then, all my efforts would backfire. Oh, and he might view this space too, so dats y! Anyway, to love, if you're reading this, no-no darling, i'm leaving no clues for you but don worry, i know exactly the thing to get you, just you wait and see okie!hee. *MuUuackzZ..!!!*

Damn!

2009-02-28T11:20:00.004+08:00

I've got a set of hideous eyebags and dark eye circles which i've been trying doubly hard to erase. Concealers make splendid rescuers but it's a pity that they're only temporary! I've tried countless means and ways (except for the sleepin early part coz i've been turning in no sooner than 11pm nowadays.hee.bluek!) to shake them off but all proved to be futile. Any effective remedies? The fast-acting ones would be good coz this is really bothersome, damn it!

January Babies

2009-02-26T16:46:00.027+08:00

Last month, love's family and mine celebrated our mom's birthdays. No-no, not both families together, not yet! but respectively.hee. Yup2, they're both born on January, same-same! How sweet and coincidental, isn't it?*giggles*. However, they don't share the same date and age though. They've got a 3 days interval in between and my mom's at least 4 years younger than loves'. Mommy dearests' falls on 27th January and future mom-in-laws' (insya'allah,amin!hehe.) falls on 31st January. Anyway, it was a mini bash on two different occassions for both parties. My mom was away on a cruise trip with her fellow colleagues just 5 days before her day so we surprised her with a cake upon her arrival afterwhich we headed down to Chai Chee seafood restaurant for a birthday dinner. Love's family had the cake-cutting and feasting in the comforts of home sweet home. Both of it wasn't much of a hoo-haa cause it was only done within the immediate family members. Attendance was at a full-fledge on both sides except for my bro-in-law who had to do evening shift and love's lil bro's galfren who had other obligations. All in all, both plans turned out successful. Moms were pleased with the gifts we presented them with too! :D

6 Years On The Go!

2009-02-24T16:20:00.021+08:00

HAPPY 6TH BIRTHDAY REEN[A]QIIM!!! (,")",)
Look how far we've come love! Kudos to US for having made it through yet another year and kepada yang bermaha kuasa, hati ini dipenuhi dengan perasaan syukur yang tk terhingga sgt-sgt..alhamdulillah! Precious love, we're 6 years old now and I can never express how grateful and gratified I feel to have you by my side all this while. You're the best damn thing that has ever happened to me and after all the weals and woes we've weathered, today, I know without a doubt that it's you I wanna grow white hair with. Yes, I want to be the one waking up to ur smile every morning, I want to be the one catering to you and enticing you with various culinary creations every day, I want to be the one awaiting your return from work to a haven we've built together, I wana have juniors with features like yours and call them ours, I wanna fascinate them with our story, our great love tale one fine day. Thanks love, for being there always, for makin me smile when the dark clouds set in and for walking with me in times of tears. For all the good you've done to me precious, I can never thank you enough and for all the sacrifices you've willingly made, I dedicate my heart, my soul, my life and my total devotion to you. Thank you also dear, for the faith and trust you've got in me and US. I promise you that i'll never do anything imaginable to betray this power you've granted me with and to see us triumph, pls know that i wld do anything within my means to watch our dreams unravel. Love, I apologize from the depths of my heart for all the miseries I've caused you and if ever i've been a less-than-perfect galfren, you have my word that i'l stop at nothing to better myself as a soulmate and eventually a virtuous wife to you, i hope. I start my day with thoughts of you and I end my day whispering a prayer for you. My heart beats for you, that's how much a part of me you are now precious! I can't do without you, for you hold a major part in my every actions and decisions. My future paints a big picture of us as one and my present is all about making it work for us. You practically mean everything to me coz 6 years have passed eversince and I realize that i'm becoming more and more irretrievably, hopelessly devoted to you, with each ticking moment. Love, I know this year has been off to a tough beginning for us but hold on tight ya. I'm sure nature will take on a better course for us coz we're gonna make it happen to no.7 come next year! Insya'allah, amin! Please don break my heart ok darling? Just like how i pledge not to urs coz I NEED YOU just as much as I LOVE YOU. I believe in us and so must you okie! Once again, HAPPY 6TH ANNIVERSARY love!!! I LOVE YOU, more than ever and I always will! :D

Love In The Air

2009-02-21T12:49:00.016+08:00

February holds a great significance for myself and love. While lovebirds indulge in Valentine's bliss this month, love and I rejoice in double happiness. Y? coz aside from 14 February, 10 days later marks our anniversary date..uh-huh, 24 February it is. This year, we're turning up the notch from '5' to a '6' and just the thought of it makes me wana jump off my seat! woohoo! Need I say more? It just gets better everytime!hehe. Oh n fyi, love and i don't do 'month'saries becoz we think it's too money consuming. Yes-yes, i do know it can always be a simple affair with a budget coz after all, it's the thought that counts but doing it every month, would just turn it into a routine which is soooo not our idea of commemorating an occassion. No, i'm not saying that doing it on a monthly basis is a bore and dreadful but we just thought that if we live up the moment once a year then every celebration would be momentous and victorious enough. You know, the sense of satisfaction is there when we think about how much it took for us to sail through the ups and downs of a year and finally, here we are, hearts as one still, with a love ever more deeper, memorializing the date it all started. You'll feel much appreciative and blessed. It's like a race to the checkpoint and everytime u reach it, the sense of relief and delight grips you coz you know, you've been anxiously anticipating the day for a whole year compared to a mere month's wait. Don't get me wrong pls, i don't think 'month'saries are lame and i've totally got nothing against this trend but i guess love and I just like it exclusive, that way, it'l feel much special and meaningful on our end. We're just three days away now..am eagerly counting down the days, hours, minutes and seconds..gosh! i sooooo can't wait!! lotsa butterflies fluttering in my stomach!hee :D

In the process

2009-02-20T16:31:00.012+08:00

Two weeks ago, I made my way to marina boulevard to attend a career seminar on pre-school teaching. There, i enlisted myself for an early childhood traineeship programme sponsored by NTUC first campus. They're offering this scheme in a bid to hire more qualified teachers due to the rising standard demands of MOE and also to help upgrade locals who are interested but don't meet the pre-requisites. As per norm, opportunities don't jus come falling from the sky and in this case, candidates are required to go through a selection process afterwhich only shortlisted ones will be chosen to attend the 3 year diploma course under RTRC Asia, fully covered by the company. Yesterday, I had a 1 day attachment trial with one of their pre-schoolers' centre located in AMK and now, i find myself head over heels in love with the children! My schedule was divided into two parts that day. The toddlers ranging from 18-30 months in the morning and the K1s and 2s for the second half. Little ones were superrrr adorable and the big ones were one rowdy bunch i tell you, goodness!hehe. But as a whole, they all managed to capture my heart nonetheless. I'm enchanted by their every antics and though they could go real haywire at times, i still find myself having a soft spot reserved for them. It's just miraculous how i could get sooooo attached to them in just one day and funny part was, how i cried as i recounted the moments i had with them while narrating the story to my family.haha! ridiculous? I know! I couldn't help it, i just felt a tinge of misery in me for having such little time with them..hmm. Well aniwae, have i mentioned dat the attachment was part of their assessment in picking out potential applicants? Yup, it is and i sure do hope they're convinced about me, at least i think i handled the children pretty efficiently.hee. I'l be informed of their conclusion sometime end february so now, i'm just resigning myself to fate. Pray that it'l be good news pls ya! Insya'allah, amin. ;)

Deeper

2009-02-16T16:12:00.030+08:00

Valentine's day turned out awesome and meaningful. It made me realize how much our love has blossomed throughout these years. I knw i mentioned a take between hot&cold before. So, which was it? Well, we took a go with 'cold' because love thought the alternative was kinda last minute.hee. Aniwae, to put it technically, we went ice-skating. It being the first for us after almost 6 years of dating made the experience all refreshing. Also, have i cited that it was a beginner's attempt on my end? Boy am i glad for having pulled through the day w'out taking even a single stumble during the 2hrs session! (believe it or not) and for that, i've got to take my hats off to none other than love! It's all thanks to him that my butt never kissed the rink's floor that day. It's also thanks to his first-rate coaching skills that i actually managed to master more than i thought i could've gathered within that short span! What can I say? He's simply amazing! Love was like a pillar of support that never crumbled on me, he was there to put me back at track everytime i lost my balance and when i finally got a hang of it all, he said, "I'm so proud of you!" I was touched, really, coz it felt so special. The way he flustered to hold me and keep me standing in that rink made me realize how much i could rely on him. It was like knowing that even if life were to turn for a worse one day, he would be there to pick me up and never let me fall and deep inside me, i know he will do just that. The fun we had, the laughs, the hugs and the kisses, everything was unforgettable and somehow, I know that today, the love and bond we share has grown much stronger and tighter than ever coz that day, i fell deeper in love :)

To my prettyboy, pls know that I'm so proud of you too! For not making me trip, for being the only boyfren in the rink that suceeded in ensuring that his galfren doesn't fall, and for helping me achieve more than i could have.hees. You made it happen for me and i thank you bushuk, u'r the best! I LOVE YOU ok, too much! I really do!

argh!

2009-02-12T16:28:00.004+08:00

I've been down with a flu and sore throat since this morning :(
My throat is all swollen and feels like it has gotten itself an inflamed wound somewhere in there..so painful and uncomfortable!
My nose is all reddened, feels itchy and i've been sneezing like forever to even a tiny speck of dust..so sensitive and annoying!
Thank godness though coz i've been spared the 'flowing like a tap mucus' hassle. It's already bad as it is. I hope it doesn't get any worse than this coz i really am lookin forward to having a good time this saturday and if this persist, it'l only get in my way big time definitely. I'm keepin my fingers crossed. I've only got 2 days to recover and this is terribly distressing! argh!

"Oh pls go away unwanted ailments, this is soooo not the rite time to pop by for a visit so quick! Go on and shoo for now!"

Valentine's Craze

2009-02-10T15:51:00.013+08:00

The international lovers' day is just ard the corner and with that said, by now, most couples out there would be cracking their heads to a perfect valentine plan. "What to do? Where to go? What to get??" So many 'whats' i bet. Me? hmm...well, this may sound funny but it's a tradition agreed between me and love that i get him a pair of slippers on each valentines' day. haha, silly i know! Y so, u ask? Well to make it brief, it all began when i presented love with a pair of slip-ons for our 1st valentines'. Somehow, learning that those slippers were the 1st of its kind that love had owned and the fact, that I was the 1st to have ever gifted him with such lead to the onset of this crazy custom. My selfish alter-ego at work u can say, coz I resolved to set myself as the only person to acquire those for him eversince and up to this date, the practice continues every 14 February.hee ;p This year, the slip-ons have already been bought and given. In fact, love has even put them on for an outing!haha. Excited u see! U knw how it feels like when u've just gotten something new and desireable right? You just want to get them in action in the nearest possible time!hehe. Right now, i'm soooo looking forward to Saturday, Saturday & Saturday coz i'l get to meet love and duh! coz there's a cause for celebration, yay! Though it hasn't quite been set as to what me and love are gonna be up to but this time, we're thinking something new&different, a choice between hot&cold?Hmm...Or maybe, I should just let love do the decision-making.hee. ;)

INTRO

2009-02-06T16:47:00.003+08:00

Hey hi!

I adore rainbows&sunflowers! :D
I hate ~~greentea~~&~~creepycrawlies!~~ *yucks*
And here's a secret, I bite my nails! sshhhhh...

Also, people around me tend to get a generous dose of my smile, EVERYTIME!
I'm new for now so be nice pls, ok ppl. Thank you! ;p

PS: I do realize that, this might be crap. Maybe i'll post something much practical next time ya. As for now, pls make do with this okie. Tata! ;)